Well Lupport certainly did not trust that little conniving half-Semitic. Just look at what it had as a bodyguard! An Ogre for Fate’s sake! As he glanced over at the brute, it chased down a little Halfling thief and slammed it’s club into a table until the culprit gave back what he had taken. Luppolt only wished it were the burglar himself.
He was getting caught up in the festivities though and the food sure looked delicious. He thought it best to head over to the Pig to ensure it was being cooked properly and to get a better look at the contraption they had erected over the fire to cook the swine in. It seemed overly complicated; why not just turn the spit by hand? It was making steam that entered pipes… it was pretty confusing. Then the cooks brought out a stepladder and began to pour juices over the pig. The juices collected in a large vat. They added spices, apple juice, lemons, oranges, sugar, onions, garlic – which boiled on a lower container than the pig. They ladled it out and brought it back to the pig to marinate it in.
He was sure getting hungry! He looked about – pleased with the operation, and spied a beautiful husky girl serving drinks and gave her a wink to get her attention with little success – so he finally just yelled out to her over the din of the crowd. He noticed the crowd was beginning to get rowdy – he saw the dwarf highwayman getting into a fight with a ring of Halfling on-lookers pressing in. He snorted in disgust. Then pinched the serving wench’s ass – that finally got her attention! What’s your name? No answer… “Well mines Lupport – you probably heard of me – I’m the hero who brought the bandits in.” No response… Figuring she’d be impressed with his size and strength, almost no woman could resist him… “Ya I got this wound in the battle.” Pulling up his tunic to show his impressive girth. “You want a drink or what?” She replied. Stonewalled again he thought.. “Ya ale wench.” As he downed the pleasantly bitter stuff he walked back towards the pig roast. The fight was spreading now and a couple of drunks fighting bumped the stepladder. Luppolt came to rescue the cook, and more importantly the marinade when he bumped into the side of the contraption and the entire thing started to fall.
Luppolt watched it all in slow motion horror. What had he done? The cook and ladle were the first to go in the fire – the vat of juices tipped then fell with a horrific splat. Then a volcanic whoosh of air was heard as it caught on fire! It immediately ran downhill towards “This Way Inn”, a blazing river of fire.